


i don’t wanna do this on my own

by penspencils1719



Series: Zutara Week 2020 [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Badass Katara (Avatar), Co-Parenting, Dadko, Dadko and Momtara, F/M, Let Aang be a kid who chases butterflies, Let Katara and Zuko support each other, Momtara, One-sided Aang/Katara (Avatar), Post-Southern Raiders, Pre-Ember Island Players, Pre-Relationship, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zutara Week, Zutara Week 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25556581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penspencils1719/pseuds/penspencils1719
Summary: Katara thinks Aang could use a break. Zuko disagrees.On an unrelated note, they are most definitely not flirting.Zutara Week 2020, Day Two: Counterpart
Relationships: Aang & Katara (Avatar), Aang & Zuko (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Zutara Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1875664
Comments: 46
Kudos: 387
Collections: Zutara Week 2020, Zutara- some of my fave fics





	i don’t wanna do this on my own

**Author's Note:**

> Set after the Southern Raiders but before Ember Island Players, primarily from Katara's point of view. 
> 
> This fic isn't technically a canon divergence, since it takes place before the finale kisses/romances, but it assumes that Katara and Zuko are on the path to a romantic relationship (in an AU that would disregard the Kataang and Maiko endings in the last five minutes of the show).

* * *

Katara never would have thought that a real kitchen, with an assortment of pots and pans and vegetables and spices and actual _options,_ would be such a luxury. 

She’d grown so used to rationing their limited amounts of food to make things last as long as possible. It had become second nature to find the quickest way to cook something over a campfire, because she knew if she took too long, it was likely they’d be fighting another battle before they had a chance to finish dinner. If food required more than one pot and thirty minutes, it just wasn’t worth it. Even here on Ember Island, with a house to hide in and an obscene amount of money Zuko had stolen from the Fire Lord’s treasury before he left, she still found herself spinning like a wheel through the tasks. Cooking, mending, laundry, training Aang, making plans with the others, reminding everyone to clean up after themselves, practicing waterbending — only to do it all over again in the morning. But with sandy beaches and sunny days stretching before them, she had finally begun feeling free to let go more often.

It was comforting to have a space that was _hers_ , surrounded by four walls, where she could work in silence when she needed time to think. She could experiment with flavors because she wanted to. She didn’t have to make sure the others set up the tents right. She didn’t have to feel guilty when she couldn’t focus, since no one was watching her here. Rather than simply calling her name when there was a problem, the others would have to walk to the house and up the stairs and down the hall to get her. These days, more often than not, Zuko would be there to handle things before they found her. She hadn’t even realized how many hours she’d spent resolving conflicts until she wasn’t the only one resolving them. 

Now, she’d taken to bending strands of water from the sink into the shape of animals in between chores. There were probably more respectable ways to waste her time, but sometimes seeing the smallest things she could do with water made her feel the most pride. Even though it didn’t bring the same kind of relief as sparring or moving through her bending forms, she liked the gentle comfort of twisting the water into something pretty, even when no one was there to notice. Something pretty just for her. 

Watching the way the light from the window shone on her little water bird, as she twirled the creature through the air, reminded Katara of how she used to carve pieces of ice into little seals when she was a kid, with nothing but her determination to get it right. It was the first bending she’d tried to do, back when the ice was as unyielding to her as stone. Back when she couldn’t breathe, because the water felt so far away, even as it called for her through the night. 

Now when the water sang to her, she sang back. 

But these were songs for her ears alone, so she dropped the bird and refocused on the dishes just as she heard Aang barrelling in. Normally, he was incredibly light on his feet, but this time he let his shoes smack against the ground as he sighed loudly. 

“What’s wrong Aang?” She’d grown used to the burst of affection that filled her chest every time she saw his wide eyes or tender smile. Only these days, that feeling was usually accompanied with a sense of dread that he might try to kiss her again like he did before the invasion, or declare his affections in a way that she couldn’t keep ignoring. 

_That_ was a battle for another day. After all, it was always possible that the world would end before she had to cross the bridge and break Aang’s heart. For now, she just handed him mango slices the way he liked them and hoped he’d eventually realize he didn’t want a girlfriend who cut up his fruit for him. But considering how much he enjoyed the mangos, maybe that wasn’t the best strategy. 

“Ugh, it’s Zukooo…” He heaved another long sigh before slumping over the counter beside her, glaring at the dishes she was supposed to be scrubbing. “He’s making me work from dawn till dusk like a _mule._ ” Katara had to swallow a laugh at how his face puckered up. 

“I thought dusk was when Toph got to hit you with rocks?” She pointed out with just the right touch of innocence. Aang groaned and buried his head in his arms. 

“Don’t remind me.” His words were muffled against his own skin. “At least Toph lets me take breaks when _she_ wants a break. Zuko just… goes and goes and never even _thinks_ of stopping. He’s _relentless!_ ” 

“Well,” This time Katara couldn't entirely hold back the smile from her face as she picked up a dish and began to scrub again. “We already knew _that,_ back when he was chasing us. We saw first hand how he never gives up.” She paused when she realized how fond she had begun to sound. 

Aang didn’t notice. 

“Yeah, it’s awful!” He twisted around to meet her eyes with a pleading look. “I’m so tired that by the end of the day I barely have the energy to ride Appa! He’s getting _lonely!_ ” 

Katara snorted. “Considering how much time Sokka spends taking Suki flying around, I think Appa’s getting plenty of human interaction.” _He’s probably seeing more human than he ever wanted to,_ she thought while starting to dry the dishes spread across the counter. “You seem to be improving a lot though. Everytime I watch you train, it’s amazing to see how much more you’ve grown!” 

Aang perked up for a moment, before deflating and lowering his head. “It’s never enough for Zuko though. The minute I do a move right he wants me to move on to the next one!” He peeked up at her with a hopeful look. “But maybe if you talked to him…” 

“Me?” 

“Yeah…” Aang rolled back and forth along the balls of his feet. “Like if you told him to go easy on me, I’m sure he’d _have_ to lighten up…”

“Aang.” She weighed her words carefully. “I’m not sure what you want me to do. It’s Zuko’s business how he wants to go about teaching you firebending. If you feel it’s too much, then you need to tell him. I’m not a firebender, so it wouldn’t make much sense for me to get in the middle.” 

“You got involved when Toph was being really hard.” Aang argued. 

“She wanted to drop a boulder on your head during the first lesson.” She reminded him. “If Zuko starts throwing fireballs you can’t fight against, you can let me know and I’ll give him a piece of my mind.” She put down her cloth and levelled an apologetic look. “You also know that the situation has changed since then. It’s… a lot more urgent for you to get this.” She placed a hand on the younger boy’s arm. “I know it’s hard, but Zuko pushing you this much means that he believes in you, just like everyone else.” She tried to channel her affection into a light squeeze. “Just like I do.” 

This brought a small, bashful smile to Aang’s face. Too late, Katara wondered if her open fondness would make things worse in terms of the crush that didn’t seem to be dimming, but she decidedly put that thought to the side. Right now, Aang needed all possible encouragement, and if that meant some unintentional romantic hope, she wasn’t going to shoot it down. 

Any lift in Aang’s mood, however, was short-lived when Zuko walked in with crossed arms and narrowed eyes.

“You said you’d be back five minutes ago.” Zuko informed him. “You said you were just going to the bathroom.” 

Aang immediately straightened up. “Katara needed my help!” 

“Really?” Zuko twisted his lips. Katara knew it was supposed to be a sneer, but it ended up looking more like a disgruntled pout. Between that and Aang’s panicked eyes begging her to back him up, it was a struggle to avoid bursting out into laughter. 

“Really really!” If possible, Aang’s voice climbed even higher. 

“I didn’t realize that doing the dishes was such a struggle for her.” Zuko remarked. 

Katara saw her opening, turning so she was fully facing him with one hand on her hip. “Are you saying I shouldn’t ask for help Zuko? That dishes should always be _easy_ enough to do on my own?” 

The alarm on Zuko’s face now matched Aang’s. “What? No, that’s not what I was saying — ”

“You know,” Katara pursed her lips and focused on the dishes so he wouldn’t see the beginnings of a smile creeping onto her face. “Housework keeps you all fed and clothed, so there’s no need to look down on it.” 

“I know that!” Zuko now sounded more distressed than she wanted, considering she knew he had never trivialized what she did. “I’m the one who mended all the clothes yesterday, just the way you showed me…” He caught sight of her smirk and trailed off with an embarrassed blush. “You’re teasing me.” 

She tilted her head to toss him a more genuine, if amused, smile. Zuko’s cheeks grew even more red, but his face relaxed for a moment, before he caught sight of Aang trying to creep out the doorway. “You’d better be heading back to the courtyard for practice Aang!” 

The younger boy whirled around with his arms hanging. “But Zuko…” The tired look on his young face melted something in Katara’s heart, just like it always did. 

“I need him to fetch rice from the marketplace for dinner tonight.” She told Zuko, who’d now crossed his arms again. “He can be back in half an hour, which will give him plenty of time to throw fire at you today.” 

“This _throwing fire,_ as you call it — ”

“Another chore!” Aang groaned. 

Katara and Zuko broke their staring contest to raise their eyebrows at him. 

“I mean…” Aang chuckled while taking slow steps backwards. “Of course I need to help Katara! It’s really important for me to pitch in, and you definitely can’t argue with that Zuko!” Aang spun on his heels and raced out before the firebender had a chance to respond. _“I’ll be back soon!”_

“Aang!” Zuko yelled before sighing. “Half an hour!” He still called out, even though it was clear that the boy was long gone. He turned to her with an irritated look. “Now he’s going to get distracted by the daisies and the butterflies on the way there and we won’t see him for a couple hours. Probably _without_ the rice.” 

Katara wasn’t as concerned. “I’m sure you’ll drill him hard enough after dinner to make up for it.” After putting away the last of the dishes, she pulled out the cutting board and began chopping vegetables. The response clearly did not satisfy him. 

“He should be spending every minute on this.” 

“Zuko…” Katara began without looking up from her vegetables, “I think you need to remember that not everyone’s like you.” 

“Like me how?” He sounded affronted, but something more uncertain laced his words. 

This time Katara did pause to meet his eyes. Zuko’s anger rolled and shifted so frequently, it was easy to miss the almost fearful expression underneath. “Someone who fights, _without rest_ , for what he believes in.” Her voice came out softer than she expected. 

“I don’t mean to… be so much.” Zuko’s voice had grown quieter while he began examining a crack in the counter. 

Katara lowered her own head to find his eyes again. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing Zuko. I just meant that most people aren’t as…” One side of her lips quirked up. “Diligent.” 

Zuko still avoided her gaze, but he did lift his face to look out the window. “He’s not ready Katara. What if…” He didn’t need to finish his sentence for her to understand. 

She swallowed the rising fear in her stomach, not willing to let it overwhelm her. She couldn’t afford to let these doubts grow too big, so she reached forward to touch his hand, even though she wasn’t entirely sure the gesture was just to comfort him.

“He’s been learning firebending the fastest out of any of the elements.” She said with determination rather than outright confidence. “And we all know it’s thanks to you. I can admit that… I may, _sometimes_ , have a tendency to baby Aang _a bit_ …” 

Zuko snorted. “You think?” 

Katara glared at him, pulling her hand a way so she could flick some water from the sink on his face. He wrinkled his nose and recoiled, but not without the hints of a smile. She wished she could pull the corners of his lip higher. She wished she could do it without touching his face — just with her words, or with a look. 

“Sorry.” He sounded sheepish, but she still stuck her nose in the air before picking up her knife to resume her chopping. 

“I was going to say that I can be too easy on him and Toph can be a bit too harsh, but you tend to know how to push him while still helping him feel proud of himself…” She rushed through the end of her sentence, “But I will definitely not be saying that.” 

Zuko’s unscarred eye grew wide. “I mean, I’m not sure how successful I am if he’s still running away.” 

“Running away is… kind of Aang’s thing.” She said. “It… it hurts, but you’re better at handling it. At least he respects you.” The final bit was spoken under her breath. 

Zuko looked at her in confusion. “What do you mean?” 

She shook her head, not sure herself where the words had come from. “Nothing.” 

“Katara…” 

She suddenly didn’t want to look at him. “Well he obviously admires and appreciates me, but he hardly sees me as an authority figure in the same way as you. I mean,” Her words had become bitter without her realizing, “He called _Toph_ his Sifu before me.”

Zuko furrowed his brow. “I… I didn’t realize that — ”

“I only mean,” She started cutting the vegetables harder than before to drown out the sound of her beating heart. “It’s just hard to get through to Aang sometimes, so it’s really nice to know that you can.” 

Zuko’s stare always had so much weight to it. She never felt more seen, and while sometimes there was a comfort in it, this time she felt unnerved by his ability to hear what she wasn’t saying. 

“What you do and say matters Katara.” Zuko’s voice had grown too gentle, too attentive. “If you aren’t feeling appreciated — ”

“I didn’t say that!” 

“I know!” Zuko’s frightened face probably mirrored her own. They both looked down while trying to find better words. 

“I think…” He tried again, not without some trepidation, “I think Aang does care very much about your opinion, even if he needs to show it better.” 

She chuckled darkly. “He wants to impress me and win my attention, but I’m not so sure that’s the same as seeing me as someone who can assign him homework or fold his socks or… sing him lullabies when he can’t sleep.” 

“You do that?” Zuko’s voice had too much admiration in it, making her almost defensive. 

“It’s not a big deal!” She almost snapped. “It was only once or twice!” 

“Of course it’s a big deal!” Zuko responded with irritation. “ _You’re_ a big deal Katara!”

Her eyes widened, and so did his. They immediately broke away again, needing a couple minutes to find their voices. 

“Maybe you could tell him how you feel.” He eventually murmured. 

Katara’s mouth flew open, ready with an argument that he would have no defense for, but no words came out. She closed her mouth, before saying, a little stupidly, “He’s not doing anything wrong, so there’s nothing to say. There’s…” She shook her head to shake away any frustrated thoughts. “... a lot on his mind. Especially with the comet coming. He comes to me for support and… that’s what I want to focus on.” 

“You’re good at it.” Zuko said carefully. 

“I like to think so. I’ll leave it to you and Toph to do the other hard stuff.” 

“What you do isn’t easy.” He pointed out. 

“Yes well, you know what I mean. The whole tough love thing.” She leaned over to grab some of the potatoes from the top shelf, still struggling to reach them when she lifted herself unto her toes. She turned to find the hints of a smile on Zuko’s lips. Not sure what to do with her suddenly restless blood, she raised her eyebrows and waited for him to pluck the vegetables with ease to drop into her waiting hands. 

“Thank you.” She ignored his searching gaze. 

Finally, mercifully, he looked away. “I just think your feelings matter Katara.” 

Her heart rose so high she was worried it would get caught in her throat. “Thanks.” The word was so pathetic in light of the twisting emotions inside her, but maybe that was a good thing. “But Aang… he’s just… kinda my boy, you know? Ugh,” She wrinkled her nose, “That sounds so silly.” 

Zuko shook his head. “No, not at all. I get it. The way you care for him is… it’s something special. Between the two of you.” 

“Yeah. So can we just… drop this for now? I appreciate everything you said, but I just… there’s enough for me to think about already.” 

He nodded. “Okay.” 

“What?” She leaned away to see his face more clearly, not trusting what she would find. “Really?” 

“Well yeah, you said you didn’t want to talk about it, right?” He didn’t seem to understand her confusion. “So we won’t. Whatever you want Katara.” 

“Th - thank you.” _Options, choices…_ she didn’t know how to respond to things like that. 

He leaned both his forearms on the counter and sighed again. She resisted the urge to run her fingers through his hair to calm him, wondering how embarrassed she would feel at his no doubt incredulous look. She wondered briefly that it wasn’t even close to as intimate as touching his scar, but it still felt like crossing a boundary. Affection could be much more dangerous than intimacy. 

She decided to ruffle his hair instead to satisfy the urge. This time, his incredulous look made her giggle, with a little relief that she’d gotten away with something without him knowing. 

“We’re working hard, okay?” She became serious. “It’ll be enough.” 

“How can you always be so hopeful?” Zuko shook his head, but there was something envious in his voice, and maybe even a little bit of awe. 

She genuinely considered his question, since it was one she asked herself quite often. “It keeps me going I think. And believing in hope has made some pretty incredible things happen so… I’ve had enough reason to stick with it. It gives me strength, and my strength can make things better.” There was some sort of longing on his face, and she knew that was the effect of her words rather than her, but the sight of him wanting still stirred something deep inside of her. She swallowed, “Besides… you’ve talked about the new fire that drives you, which used to be anger, but isn’t anymore. Doesn’t a part of you do this because you believe your choices may lead to some good?” 

“I do it because… it’s the right thing to do.” He weighed his words. “It’s the honourable thing. But I’m not sure if hope really plays into that. Just because I now know what’s right means I believe that right will win.” 

“But you still fight for it.” Katara argued. “There’s something hopeful in that, wouldn’t you say? Just believing it _could_ be better, even if it might not be.” 

“I suppose that’s true.” He rubbed his face with both his hands. “I just need to focus on the task. That’s the only point of this. I can’t give anything less than my all. Everything else is just noise.” 

This time she did reach out to brush her fingers against his hair. He froze. 

She couldn’t keep touching him when he looked at her so openly it was almost fearful, but she couldn’t bring herself to pull away entirely either. So she let her hand just hover, ghosting the edge of his scar. He tilted his head just a little, following the warmth of her skin without touching it. 

“That’s what we’ll keep doing then.” She whispered. “Just live one day at a time. Okay?”

Zuko nodded, just barely, but she could still feel the movement against her hand. She cleared her throat and moved away. 

“Now it would be great if you could light a fire to warm some water for me, so I can start boiling the vegetables.” She busied herself with wiping down the counters. They weren’t really wet, but that was irrelevant. 

They worked in silence for a couple moments while Zuko set up the pot. He bumped into her awkwardly when he moved to fill it with water. 

_His face is so expressive._ She mused as she watched him blush. _I hated him for lying, or what I thought were lies, but it doesn’t feel like his face could tell me a lie now._

But that was a dangerous thought, because what did it mean when she saw something tender on his face, just for her? Was that a lie? Maybe not, but she still couldn’t see how it could be true. She didn’t understand what it meant. 

When Zuko finished setting up the pot and fire, he shuffled from side to side, before finally saying, “Everyone is lucky to have you Katara.” He scratched his neck. “You take care of them. So… so well.” 

Katara paused. “It’s easier with you here Zuko.” She said honestly. “You make it better. For everyone. You… take care of them too.” 

He flushed red. “It’s not the same.” 

“I never said it was.” She smiled. 

“No, you don’t understand.” He looked frustrated with his own inability to explain. “You don’t just take care of everyone, you… you see the good in them, and you make them believe in things. Nice things, beautiful things. You, you just make… you make it easier to see good. Probably because you are so good.” He blurted out. “Too good, really.” 

“Oh…” She could feel the heat in her own cheeks. Very suddenly, the realization hit her that she had, somehow, stumbled into very treacherous territory. It would be smartest to immediately put a stop to whatever was building between the two of them. But the truth was that she didn’t hate the way her stomach was churning or how her fingers always wanted to find a way into his hair. He was making her grow dizzy, with how fast her heart raced, but his shoulders were solid and _he_ was so solid. Something about Zuko made it easy for her to let go and throw caution to the wind, because she just felt so certain that he wouldn’t let the wind toss her away. So certain that he would hold her through this storm they were no doubt creating. 

_That’s what you felt in Ba Sing Se._ A voice inside her whispered. _And look at how wrong you were._

 _I’ve forgiven him._ She answered back with certainty. _It’s not a mistake to trust him now._ Yet the doubt still lingered, and she knew it would linger for some time still, but she couldn’t help but wonder what the coming days and weeks, and maybe even months if they survived, would bring. She swallowed down the hope, but it still pulsed — living, breathing — inside of her. 

Before she could form a proper response, Zuko turned away with a cough to look back out the window. “It’s been half an hour.” He scowled. “And Aang isn’t back yet.” 

It took a few tries before she could fix a smirk on her face. “I’m sure I have enough laundry to keep you occupied in the meantime.” 

He groaned, but with a teasing glint in his eye so she knew he wasn’t serious. “Of course you do. Though if Aang mastering the four elements doesn’t work out, it would be worth considering using Sokka’s socks to take down my family.” 

“You just want to avoid washing them.” She laughed. 

“I’m just trying to find better options for everyone involved.” A gentle, uncertain joy danced over his face, and she wanted to keep it there for as long as possible. 

If it was anyone else, she would have shooed them out so she could finish another chore that sat on a never-ending list of things to do, but it was still many more minutes of bantering over the boiling pot before the thought of doing such a thing even crossed her mind. She did not listen to it when it did. 

She let herself have this moment.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Zutara Week submission so I hope it at least brought a smile to someone's face :) 
> 
> In terms of how I represented Katara and Aang's relationship, I really wanted to show that they have a strong older sister-younger brother/mother-son bond, which is powerful, but Katara is still allowed to have complicated feelings about his unrequited crush. I think she's in a place where she wants to show him the same genuine love and care she always has, but him seeing her as a romantic ideal/his 'forever girl' prevents him from recognizing the work she's doing as an authority figure (even though she's still a girl who also wants to rest and flirt with her crush and have fun). I don't think this makes Aang anywhere close to a bad person or a bad protagonist, but I think it's essential for him to do some reflecting, listening and growing. Katara's not quite ready to be honest with him, since she has other priorities, but I think she does need a safe space to express the confusing feelings. Basically, I love Aang (and his platonic dynamic with Katara), but it upsets me that the show didn't bother to hold him accountable for his mistakes (which really hurt his character development) or consider how Katara felt about the many responsibilities on her shoulders. But I think when Zuko arrives, she has someone to help and support her as an equal (and listen to the many thoughts and pressures we didn't get to hear about in canon), so that makes me happy :) 
> 
> I also usually imagine Katara and Zuko being much more oblivious/in denial about their growing feelings for each other (for several years after the war), but as the fic unfolded, Katara just ended up being more aware by the end, so I decided to roll with it. I also think they would still unintentionally flirt and be romantic, even when they have no idea that they like each other. 
> 
> I'll finish with a big thank you to the Zutara fandom for being a beautiful community that spreads lots of love for these beautiful characters <3


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